The running away is sometimes self preservation. Before it served a purpose. I hope you can remember that you are safe, and if riding your bike calms your mind, then I think that is okay. Sitting with the feelings is good, but so are strategies to help you through them, so you can deal with them in safe ways. That is how I feel anyway, and maybe that is the wrong advice. Sending healing thoughts, and hope it has already passed. If you want to talk tonight, I will be home a little after 8:00 my time.
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