July 16, 2011
Then I biked out from the invisible prison of my childhood.
The first words of Survivors of Incest Anonymous:
"We admitted we were powerless over the abuse"
This feels intolerable to me. I have always blamed myself for the incest; for my dad raping me, for my own mother betraying me and torturing me in so many ways.
I have blamed myself because it has been easier than to admit that I was a powerless child.
This is all I can write for now. I am going to start thinking about this more.
I believe that if I can stop blaming myself; I will finally be free.
Maybe that is what scares me most of all... freedom. Finally.