The first words of Survivors of Incest Anonymous:
"We admitted we were powerless over the abuse"
This feels intolerable to me. I have always blamed myself for the incest; for my dad raping me, for my own mother betraying me and torturing me in so many ways.
I have blamed myself because it has been easier than to admit that I was a powerless child.
This is all I can write for now. I am going to start thinking about this more.
I believe that if I can stop blaming myself; I will finally be free.
Maybe that is what scares me most of all... freedom. Finally.
4 comments:
Jen, this is a beautiful post. I love you. I believe in you. You can do it. When you are ready.
I can understand why freedom would seem frightening. Pain and suffering is all you have known, and the unknown, no matter how wonderful everyone tells you it is, is still scary. The only way to find out though is to head in that direction. If freedom is horrible, then we always have the choice to turn back. I don't think that will happen though:)
Freedom brings the unknown, fear makes perfect sense. Your words help me. Thank you.
Good and healing thoughts to you.
Hugs,
Kate
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