A post about real love.

Tonight I am tired from the day.  It was long and parts of it were difficult- but a lot of good things came from it too.  So tonight I am tired but one of the many things that I have been learning recently is that it is not possible to focus too much on the wonderful things in your life.  So for tonight here is a list of some of the things that make me feel completely happy.

1.  The above image is a pair of boots that I drew on for a friend of mine- I love that she loved them so much that she wore them around everywhere and in the snow.
2.  I am so excited about starting graduate school; I think of it everyday.  This Friday I am going to the school to register for classes and get my ID and I am COMPLETELY EXCITED about that!!
2. b.  When I think about the private studio I will have for two years at graduate school... I get even more excited.
2. c. When I think of the art books I will soon have access to and of a printmaking shop and of being both a student and a teacher... I am thrilled!!
3.  In 8 days I will be going on a vacation and I will have TWO weeks of a rest from therapy!!  I am very excited about that.  I will be surrounded by the people I love most.
4.  I love that I am drawing everyday.  When I first started my therapy and before I started talking about having been raped and for so long- I was hardly able to make my art or take care of myself- now I am doing both of those things and I am getting better everyday.  I continue to make more art and am taking better care of myself.  So... YES TO TELLING THE TRUTH!!

I wanted to say one other thing about real love:  When I was growing up and being abused- I was told that I should not tell anyone about the abuse.  I was told that I would not tell if I really loved the person who was hurting me.  It has taken me a long time to know and understand that if someone really loves you: they do not ask you to hide or lie or cover your pain.

Here is one more thing I really love:  Eve and I have been talking a lot and helping each other more and more each day.  And recently I have noticed that every time we go to say goodbye to one another on the phone we always say, "I love you."  Every time.  And I love it.  I did not grow up with much affection in my life at all and so it gives me a deep feeling of joy to have such a great friendship and to be so close to someone as wonderful as Eve.  And it really is true- I can live without my original family.  It took me years to come to know and accept this: I can pick new people to be my family.  And I have.  And they are an amazing group of people.

I want to end this post with a photo I love; me and Christopher.  We took this picture a few weeks after we met.  He is wonderful.  And everyday- as in this photo- he literally puts a smile onto my face.  And I surely do love that.  :-)

Yes to Love!!