Much like the experience I had last weekend (of dealing with a common cold) a routine visit to the dentist's office yesterday set off a lot of triggers and was completely hard to get through and emotionally painful to deal with. After the appointment I was completely tired and I felt really bad but I was not able to explain the 'why' immediately. After I left the dentist's office yesterday I tried to do my usual 'emotional dump' of what had happened; why it had bothered me, etc. I spent yesterday afternoon packing and trying to get organized for going back to Italy this Thursday. As soon as I stopped doing that and sat down to talk to Stefano over Skype I knew something was wrong.
It is hard to explain the details since it is still hard for me to think about it. Having a mouth and teeth and trying to accept knowing about all of the ORAL ABUSE I survived... it is exquisitely painful. Anyway- I used to be able to dissociate when I went to the dentist. But those days are gone now.