March 2, 2008
Dissociative identity disorder with battle scars.
I have therapy tomorrow and I feel terrible tonight. I try to think of why I should be grateful and why I should feel better. I tell myself I should be grateful that I don't have cancer or an incurable mental illness. After a while though I realize I don't care what I should be and I realize that what I really am is nauseous. When I think about the grotesque amount of rape and physical and psychological torture I somehow managed to survive I feel like I want to dig a hole into the earth and crawl into it and die.
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4 comments:
I just want to let you know how wonderful and brave that I think you are. I was raped by two men when I was eleven yrs. old, and also suffer from DID and PTSD. I cannot even imagine being tortured for as long as you were, and by a family member no less. I wish you much strength and courage throughout your recovery journey.
Much love and safe hugs,
Angel
Angel- Thank you.
Everyone works with what they have. Your recovery is just as important as anyone else's. All recovery takes courage and perseverance. The mere fact of your life and love is a triumph of life over desolation and destruction. We all fear what we have to do to recover from whatever we have. There is no shame in that, only intelligence and courage.
Thank you Karen. I have missed you and your comments here. :-)
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